


Winter Night

by pisceshoon



Category: TREASURE (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Character Death, Heavy Angst, M/M, Sad Ending, Sick Character, Suicide, Suicide Notes, i still don't know how to tag, im sorry, no but like, sad junkyu, sick jihoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29362557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pisceshoon/pseuds/pisceshoon
Summary: They found each other again, on a winter night.
Relationships: Kim Junkyu/Park Jihoon
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	Winter Night

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I'm back with another short but really sad fic. Can I even write something happy ? I don't know (I will try soon, I promise.  
> ANYWAY, if you haven't read all the tags, just a quick TW : There is suicide in this fic, so be cautious (it's at the really end of the fic, after the question Junkyu asked Jihoon) 
> 
> Enjoy <3

_⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ I still remember everything. The smallest details. Your voice, your laugh, your smile. Your bursts of joy, your outbursts of anger. Your eyes, your nose, your lips. Our hugs, our kisses. Your arms around my waist. My fingers in your hair. And nothing can ever erase all of this._

_⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ It was one of those winter nights. Snow covered the asphalt, the roofs of buildings, the hoods of cars. The delicate flakes danced around us, sometimes finding rest on our shoulders. You laughed at my hair turning white under the snow. I had pretended to be offended by your mockery, only to see you apologize and comfort me, as always. You laughed and added that at least my skull was protected from the cold. I still don't know if you really found it amusing or if, deep down inside, it was breaking you up a little more, and that laughing at it was just a simple defense mechanism that helped you hide your pain.  
⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ It was one of those winter nights. We had walked the streets for hours, our hands warmly entwined. I wasn't afraid of the cold when you were there by my side. I wasn't afraid of anything with you. The children shouted and laughed loudly, happy to be able to play with the snow. You had watched them with a thin smile on your face. I guess this view has brought you joy, am I right? It was always your dream to become a father. I'm sorry.  
⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ It was one of those winter nights. The hot drinks we had ordered had done us the greatest good. At the same café we had always frequented. We weren't very keen on change, were we, my love? You took me there on our first date. On all the others. On the last one too, of course.  
⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ It was one of those winter nights. The crunching of the snow under our soles, the stars were crying out for our souls.  
The warmth of our flat had never seemed so pleasant when we came home. We huddled together and I was delighted with the embrace. You hadn't been very talkative, on the contrary, you had been very quiet. Too quiet. And I had blamed it on fatigue. Optimism, surely. The bed had welcomed us in its warm sheets. My body hadn't dared to leave yours for a single moment. Nothing could compete with your delicious touch. You had kissed me. A long kiss. Delicately. Lovingly. Your hand grabbed mine. Should I have relied on the despair I thought I sensed in all your gestures?  
⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ It was one of those winter nights. Surrounded by love, you passed away. The warmth of your body gave way to the coldness of death. Peacefully asleep you let it take you away from this world._

_⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ It was one of those winter nights that you left me._

_⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ I still remember everything. Your lifeless body. My tears. My fears. This future without you that was taking shape in front of me. The ambulance. The hospital. The last goodbyes. The funeral. New tears. My world going away with you. My dying heart. And the snow that covered your coffin as it disappeared underground._

_⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Tell me, tell me my love. How did you know that night that it would be your last? That the disease would win your battle? That it would take you unscrupulously away from me? I can't stop thinking about it. Was it your body? Was it your mind? An intuition? I wish I could have fought against it, with you. Overcome your cancer, with you. Make you live, with me.  
Not a day goes by without your image repeating itself over and over again in my head. Without your smile in my memory. Without your laughter haunting my thoughts. I wish you were here, close to me. I am afraid of everything without you by my side. Life is dull, dark. You made it more beautiful. I miss you. I miss you so much. It's just too hard._

_⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Forgive me, Jihoon._

_⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ -Kim Junkyu._

His eyes fogged with tears, he reread his letter one last time before depositing it on the flower-filled tomb in front of him. These were his last words, his farewells to the world. He could have done better. He could have explained his pain to those who were still alive. But none was more important than his dead boyfriend.  
He could have fought. He could have learned how to live again. But nothing made sense without Jihoon. The months had gone by far too slowly since his death. A year. Despite his hopes, the hopes he had of rising again to make him proud, Junkyu no longer had the strength. Because his only strength was him. And he had been taken from him.

He certainly wouldn't have liked that. He could even imagine him scolding him, and that made him laugh softly. Maybe he would soon have the chance to hear it for real.

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ - Isn't it the perfect moment, my love?

His question was only answered in the limbo of his mind. Irises lost in the stars, looking for his own, Junkyu had smiled. For the first time in over a year. He was finally happy. He was finally going to meet him again. He was finally going to be close to him.

His body had fell over the barrier of the bridge. His body had smashed against the waves. His body had disappeared into the sea.  
His pain had subsided. His pain was gone. His mind was finally free.

**Name: Kim Junkyu.  
Date of death: 05.01.20.  
Time of death: 23.47.  
Cause of death: Suicide.**

⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ _It was one of those winter nights that we found each other again._


End file.
